happy new year

00.11

January 1st, 2016

as the city's sky lights up with a merry sparks of the new beginning,

i grant my prayer upon Your hands on this wishful night

not merely about myself,

but I take a moment to whisper his name on my prayer

i pray,

for his spring of happiness

for her, to not break him, nor forsake him

for his steps, to guide him, and fulfill his grain of course

for his will, to not slake, and continue to flame

i pray,

for him to not give up on himself

or things

or people

that he know will create bigger happiness in the meantime

i pray,

for your eternal happiness

tomorrow, and the day after, and the days after.

happy new year!

Fear

“What’s your biggest fear?”, asked me as I laid my head against his chest.

His subtle forehead lines frowned.

“Death?”, he smiled and tighten his arms around me. I felt lucky that infatuated curled lips is the same lips that kissed my sleepy eyes tonight.

“Everybody would die. I’m not afraid of one.”, he took my hand and his ticklish fingers played with mine.

Behind our white framed window, a light sprinkle of rain slowly fell. Little tunes of raindrops that tapped outside left us a comfortable silence in between. 

 “I have two”, he broke the silence.

 “That people find out the real me”, added him, nearly a whisper.

I could feel his breath rushed at the tip of my nose as our cold feet tangled under a thin blanket and warm sheets.

“Am not as confident they think I am. All this high paid job, nice suit, car, and mansion, never seemed enough to shut a hole I have within me. I hide under a mask of successful man while at night; I am who I am that you see. A pathetic and lonely kind of man.”

He gently pressed his warm lips on my neck, “And you, sweetheart, make it a lot easier.”

I smiled and changed my position to have a better look on his dark brown eyes. “Yes, you got me. So please, at least for tonight, don't feel that way.”

“And what’s the second fear?”, asked me again.

He quietly gazed upon the window glass; watched the rain poured down heavily.

“My wife finds out about you..”, answered him, pulled me even closer to his side.

 ***

 December 8th, 2015