track

so yeah

i'm losing track

with pretty much everything; uni life, social life, self-growth, love life, church activity

none of that gave me the excitement that i used to feel each day i open my eyes

it's a total mess; total failure

and i wish i could just crawl up in my bed all day not to meet anyone

not to face my own downfall

isn't it sad?

i know all will be fine in the end

but can i just jump out right to the moment where i can see that it will all makes sense?

i need to find a trigger to get myself back in

to convince my self i'm not facing a dead-end

--

i rarely complain

my social media's filled with encouragement quotes, bible verse, funny meme, and all the positive stuff

i am quite a positive person, at the outside

but no. i'm. not. a. hypocrite.

all of that is an act of reminder for myself to get myself back up, to never stop hope, to be grateful in all circumstances He let me through

and yes, I am

but there's a time when all the mumbled inside my head so overdose

and i need a place to share my loads

this part of the blog is the place i can be honest to myself without scared of being judged

only people who do really care will search these much about me
and to you who care, i don't mind share
just when you see me in person, (please) don't brought this up

goodnight.